“His mother treats me like I’m his girlfriend and not his wife”

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Question – I’ve been living with my husband in a back room on his mother’s property for five years, but we cook in the main house. When he goes to work during the day he gives me money to buy something to eat.

I don’t eat in the main house until he comes back from work at about 6 pm, even though he buys the groceries every month. At first I didn’t mind because I’d eat takeaways, but it bothers me now as I’m pregnant and need home-cooked food, not kotas.

The story of a woman who was married off to a rich visitor for a few hundred dollars, aged 13.

I tried talking to him about this but it seems he’s afraid of his mom and sisters. Maybe I should move out and leave him because I can’t live as if I’m a girlfriend and not a makoti.


It’s difficult for some men to detach from their family, even after they get married. To them it feels as if they’re turning their backs on the people who raised them. Making your husband choose between you and his family will only cause conflict.