“My ex gave me HIV – what do I do now?”

I’m 24 years old and my ex-boyfriend is 29. We dated for more than three years before breaking up. I recently discovered I’m HIV-positive and it was shocking. I was HIV-negative before we started dating, so I wasn’t worried that I might be at risk.

After I got the results, I sat for days not knowing how to even bring it up with him, only to discover he knew all along and had obviously infected me. He even had the nerve to tell me what medication he was on, saying I should also try it.

Yes, we were intimate without using a condom, but not once did he warn me. He’s a church-going man and you’d never think he’d keep such a secret. He apologised, but I feel like dying and hate him.

Answer

Yes, he should have disclosed his status to you. But, hating him for something that can’t be changed will only make you bitter and restrict you from living a fulfilling life.

Legally, you can sue him for purposeful endangerment. I suggest you go to your nearest magistrate’s court for help if this the route you want to take.

For more information on treatment options and to set up a counselling session, call the Lifeline’s Aids helpline.