I’m a 25-year-old guy and I have a 21-year-old partner who I met four months ago. I love her so much and she’s recently started to open up about a lot of personal things that are troubling her like family issues, surviving rape, being a single mom – the list is endless. She says she’s feeling suicidal and her behaviour is worrying me – and it’s affecting our relationship. I’ve suggested going for counselling. At first she didn’t want to go but I think she might be ready now because the situation is getting worse. How can I help her? I’ll do anything to see her get back to her old self.
Your partner should consider herself lucky that she has such a considerate and supportive boyfriend. It’s commendable you’re there for her through good and bad times, which indicates your commitment to the relationship. She definitely needs to undergo counselling so she can deal with everything she’s been through, acknowledge the effects her experiences have had on her life, then heal and move on. You on the other hand have to understand that healing from the kind of trauma she has experienced will take a fair amount of time. All you have to do is to continue being supportive and walk the journey to recovery with her. There are agencies like LifeLine where she can get one-on-one counselling and then, when the time is right, you could also be included in the sessions. Ask your girlfriend to call LifeLine on 0861-322-322. Good luck.
Will he ever marry me?
I’m a divorced mom of two but I’ve found love with a married guy. We love each other so much and he has promised to marry me. Our affair has been going on for five years and we have a child together. The problem is lately we don’t talk much about the future. Must I confront him or wait a bit longer?
What I hear you saying here is that you’re willing to be in a polygamous relationship just to be with this man you’ve given five years of your life to – all the while loving him in the shadows. I wonder if you really believe you have a future with him, since he doesn’t seem to be able to truly commit himself to you.
Why has it taken him so long if he really wants to make you his second wife? The fact that he’s now quiet about the whole issue should be a flashing red light for you. What if he was just making false promises to ensure you stay with him but his first marriage doesn’t even allow him to have another wife? I would say it’s time for the two of you to have an open and honest discussion about your future.
He needs to tell you the truth about where he sees things going. If he still beats about the bush as far as your future is concerned, it might just be time for you to cut your losses and move on.