Helping my ex

I’m 27 and live with my boyfriend. My problem is my ex-boyfriend is sick and struggling financially so I’m helping him but I’m doing it behind my boyfriend’s back. I’m confused about what to do because I’m a nurse, partly thanks to the help my ex gave me. Should I continue helping him without telling my man?


It’s touching that you’re so loyal to your ex-boyfriend and want to help him but he is your ex for a reason. What about the loyalty you owe your current boyfriend? He doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with someone who lies and sneaks behind his back to help her ex. Can you imagine what this could do to your boyfriend if he finds out about it and the damage it could do to your relationship? If you really value your relationship, I suggest you be honest with your boyfriend and if he’s not comfortable with you continuing to help your ex then just stop. Secrets have a nasty way of coming out, so own up and be safe rather than sorry.



I recently turned 21 and I was in a serious relationship for eight months. I invested so much of myself but it ended badly and I felt destroyed and lost. Since then I’ve started a relationship with my colleague. He’s nice and understanding but he also has a girlfriend he adores as much as he adores me. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by jealously and rage as I think he’s using me but I love him and I need this to work. What must I do?


It seems like you just settled for the next person available to have a relationship with. I wonder if you were ready to for this or if it’s just a rebound thing. It really sounds like you didn’t give what you were doing any thought and it’s only now you’ve started to realise the consequences of knowingly entering a relationship with someone who already has a partner. Your desire to make it work might just be a dream because he has a girlfriend and you’re just the secret lover. Do yourself a favour and move on.