‘She said another man’s name in bed’

Frustrated couple in bed

Reader: I have been with my wife for nine years. When I lost my job she was able to get one, but then I found out that she was dumping me for her boss. I still love her. What can I do?

Jade: Hi Jonas. I’m sorry you lost your job. I’m afraid that, unless your wife is prepared to work on restoring your relationship with you, there is very little you can do. We can’t force people to love us just because we love them. If you have children with her, do the best at being a father to them. This will require a lot of strength and maturity as you will have to communicate with your ex in order to share parenting.

Reader: As I was about to have sex with my partner, she called me by the name of the person I’ve being accusing her of cheating on me with. What does it mean?

Jade: I’m deeply sorry this happened to you. I can only try to imagine how very upset you must have been. In my opinion it can mean either she is messing around with the suspected guy or she fantasises about him, the former being more likely. I hope you’ve been using protection. I don’t mean to scare you, but perhaps go and get tested at your nearest clinic. I feel this relationship is over.

Reader: I’m so devastated and seriously looking for a sperm donor. I’m a 41-year-old woman with relationship problems. My partner is refusing to have a baby with me. I looked online and only got international clinics that are listed. Hope you can help.

Jade: A baby will not fix your relationship and could possibly push your partner even further away. You need to do it for the right reasons. There are world-class fertility clinics locally which will be able to assist you with your desire for a sperm donor. You’re more than welcome to e-mail me for a further conversation.

Reader: What must I do to became an egg donor?

Jade: Hi. You need to find a credible fertility clinic where you can go and notify them of your desire to donate eggs. They will match you with a couple or person looking for an egg donor and do an interview and various tests. It’s very brave and generous of you to want to be an egg donor. I recommend you ask what, in detail, goes into the process as it will not be an easy journey. All the best. – w24

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