More couples are meeting online than in real life

We hear countless Tinder success stories every day. Last November, my best friend married her Tinder match. And I was recently in the company of two strangers, and all three of us confessed to meeting our current partners on this much-loved (and equally loathed) dating app.

Meeting someone in real life (IRL) has almost become unfathomable for many singles. Online is our comfort zone – we can chat more freely, be more playful.

“Couples who meet through personal introductions start off with some guarantee that the introducer knows them both and has a fair idea that they have a lot in common,” says Shannon Davidoff, an expert local matchmaker.

A recent study published in Stanford’s Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, confirmed that more heterosexual couples are now meeting online as supposed to the old-fashioned way – through friends, family or co-workers.

But Litaletu, a journalist living in Joburg, met her boyfriend IRL.

“I remember standing on the balcony with a good friend of mine, watching people dance, and then David and his friends walked up – at first I didn’t notice him, but he said something to get my attention,” says Litaletu.

She met David, a 32-year-old Chinese-American guy at a monthly rooftop social event in SA’s most cosmopolitan city. She instantly responded to his vibe. “There was just something about the way he spoke about children, his culture, education and wanting to make a difference in the world.”

After talking the whole evening, they had their first date the very next day. “He invited me to an event at an art gallery. We had dinner at the restaurant below the art gallery and spoke about our different cultures, the education system in South Africa and more,” she says.

A year later, and they are living together.

There is nothing extreme or extraordinary about the way they met. But it’s fairly old-school compared to most modern-day love stories.

Exhausted by free dating apps and the inevitable time-consuming drudgery, many women around the world are now paying modern-day matchmakers to ‘make them a match’.

We outsource so many things in our lives – all in digital isolation. We UberEats instead of cooking, Taxify instead of driving, and send Whatsapp voice notes instead of having an actual conversation. Why not pay to find love?

A database of vetted romantic candidates suited for us might be the answer. Shannon, who’s owned two leading dating agencies for almost two decades, says that the dating scene has evolved, even in the last two years.

When it comes to dating, she says we still want traditional dating etiquette to play out on dates, for example “The golden rule is: the one who invites pays”; however, we need new ways to find dates that involves both digital and a human touch. Here’s where the services of a matchmaker could come in handy.

“Digital communication is vital for starters with a modern matchmaker as well, but the human need for connection is key. People need to meet. Often, time is just wasted on dating apps, and singles never actually end up making a real-life connection,” she says.

Cape Town-based self-development coach, Maridi Jooste says, “Why waste time on an the wrong app,   you could’ve been using that time to chase your goals and aspirations instead?” – W24