READER: My wife says she isn’t feeling me during sex. What can I do about it?

JADE: If this is about penis size, there are ways to get around it. You can ensure she climaxes during foreplay by using your hands and even toys.

The sexual positions you use may also help – for instance, doggy style with her on her knees and hands while you penetrate her from behind, and anal sex, which can indirectly stimulate her G-spot. And, if you’re willing, there are penis enlargers in terms of girth available at adult stores.

READER: My husband left his phone at home, claiming that he was going out to play the Lotto.A few minutes later, an SMS came in. I checked it because we’re allowed to answer each other’s phones. I nearly collapsed when I saw this message: “Thank you hun for airtime sorry I know I am not to say such things while you at home. But I cannot help myself. I miss you and I’m sorry I missed your call.”

He’s denying that they love each other, saying they’re just friends. We’re now using condoms, but I still don’t feel safe and I feel betrayed by someone who’s calling himself a born-again Christian. Please help.

JADE: Had I read that message, I’d have jumped to the same conclusion. I’m pleased you’re being careful and using condoms.

You should request a meeting with the elders of both families and explain what you read. Whatever the outcome of the meeting, remember that it’s up to you if you want to remain in a marriage with a dishonest man or leave him for the sake of your peace of mind. I can’t tell you what to do as you’re the one who has to live with the consequences of your decision. Good luck.

READER: I have a concern regarding my sex partner. She is complaining about my penis being too big and painful, but, at the same time, she says she’s enjoying it. Most of the time, she asks me to insert it deeper. It’s disturbing me and I can’t concentrate and enjoy my sex.

JADE: It sounds like she enjoys your large penis. If it’s not causing injury or bleeding, you shouldn’t stress about it. Use ample lubricant to ease penetration and perhaps have her on top so she controls the depth of your penis inside her as well as the pace at which you have sex.

READER: If I was having an affair, how should I forget about my mistress? She has destroyed my marriage.

JADE: If you care enough about your marriage, you will forget about her and make it up to your wife. Everyone has a breaking point and she will leave you if you continue with the other woman. Rebuild your marriage by fully committing to it and your wife. Seek professional counselling if you are unable to heal as a couple on your own.

  • Do you have a question for Jade? SMS the keyword SEXand your question to 35697. You can also email us at Please include your name and province. SMSes cost R1.50